Fuller Parker-Hulme (1962 - 2008) was for many happy years employed as a milkman, followed by a great many more years unhappily employed as the mayoress of a small town in Cheshire. After marrying his childhood sweetheart who was the mayor of the aforementioned town, it became clear that the spouse of the mayor, regardless of gender was to be known as the mayoress. In a fit of rage following repeated tabloid tauntings, he hurled his dainty mayoress chains at a laughing crowd, badly grazing a small child. He drowned in a river in Spain on holiday trying to catch a slippery, slippery fish (not a metaphor).
Phileas 'Bonus' Thomkins (1802-1897) was an army lieutenant for the Royal Army of Britain. He acquired the handle 'Bonus' when, in 1834 he yelled it immediately after killing 34 enemy troops and 6 civilians.
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Dan Berry
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Pierre Goffer (1953 - 1999) was the tallest boy in his class at school. His elevated posture gave him an air of superiority that he retained into adulthood. It was while working as a blacksmith in a working farm museum that Pierre became fascinated by energy drinks. He would stay in his forge long after hours, gorging on sweet caffeinated drinks while attempting to make himself a suit of what he referred to as 'Party Armour'. This ill-fated venture was ultimately the cause of his death on new year's eve, 1999.
Sir Gregory Cylinder (1798-1889) was an inventor and collector of trinkets. In the late 1860's he made a name for himself buying and selling small pots of grass with a small cog attached. When the cog was turned, the grass moved back and forth. Sir Cylinder named this movement 'aggressive pro-nouncement' stating that 'the process of aggressive pro-nouncement exposes the users greater qualities, thrusting them into wealth and happiness'. It was later found that every time the cog was turned a badger died.
Paul Roster (1985 - Present) lived near a duck pond in the early 1990s. It was his habit on a Sunday to visit this duck pond and throw bread to the ducks. He once kicked a crow that ate some bread intended for a duck so hard that its beak fell off. He still keeps this beak in his pocket, and kisses it for good luck.
Radford Fruehauf (1901-1961) was born in a small museum dedicated to the further understanding of the Hindu deity Vishvakarman. At the tender age of 34 Radford burnt down a well respected Fruit and Veg stand claiming 'the fruit was getting to cold'
Lawrence Paramount (1934 - 1984) was a key player on the international cruise ship circuit. Despite his buttoned-down appearance, Lawrence would often snare and dismember sea-birds on the deck of an upper-class cruise liner for the delighted glee of other the passengers. He died in 1984 following a run-in with a large gang of bikers named 'The Apoplectic Albatrosses'.
Dan Berry
Fuller Parker-Hulme (1962 - 2008) was for many happy years employed as a milkman, followed by a great many more years unhappily employed as the mayoress of a small town in Cheshire. After marrying his childhood sweetheart who was the mayor of the aforementioned town, it became clear that the spouse of the mayor, regardless of gender was to be known as the mayoress. In a fit of rage following repeated tabloid tauntings, he hurled his dainty mayoress chains at a laughing crowd, badly grazing a small child. He drowned in a river in Spain on holiday trying to catch a slippery, slippery fish (not a metaphor).
