"Those Battlin' Brazelton Boys" was the smash hit of NBC's fall 1982 line-up and Cassidy Bristol (1960-), playing Ailyn-Ann-Ann-Anne Brazelton was the breakout star in the cast. Her dewy-eyed charm and downhome style saw her poster adorning the walls of thousands of teenaged boys' bedrooms - and their fathers' dens too!
But while Ms Bristol's on-screen persona couldn't have been sweeter, her off-screen life was tumultuous. Plucked from obscurity, she soon developed a "diva" reputation, demanding ever-larger trailers and increasingly luxurious meals. Isolated from the rest of the cast, by the end of the first season she was living in a gigantic mobile stalag that dwarfed the soundstage on which Brazelton Boys was recorded. Inside, fawned over by a coterie of toadies and handmaidens, she dined on fried quail and barbecued dragonfly.
During preparations for season 2, the decision was taken that Ailyn-Ann-Ann-Anne would no longer feature in the cast. She was replaced by a robot dog named "Snuffy-91", who would eventually spin off into his own series ("LA Law").
Her reputation ruined, Cassidy Bristol struggled to find work in television and took up a position as a court stenographer in upstate New York. She is married with 12 children.
In the field of the fried breakfast, "Gossamer" Tom Dexter (1930-1991) was a legend. Obsessed with eggs and in love with the possibilities of bacon, he fed generations of Sheffield locals. His distinctive circular van was a mainstay outside Sheffield Wednesday's ground on matchdays, with many fans clutching a "Gossamer Barm" on the football special home.
Sadly Dexter, like so many other independent traders, was a victim of globalisation. In 1990, McDonalds introduced the "Egg McMuffin Sandwich" to their South Yorkshire franchises. Within six months "Gossamer" Tom Dexter was found dead of acute self-inflicted sulphur poisoning. His suicide note consisted of one word: "why?"
Dexter's passing coincided with the sudden end of a brutal string of unsolved murders in the Nether Edge area of the city.
Monty Sterling (1923 - 198?) was a card hustler and fancy man. Raised in the sleepy town of Great Marton Sterling dreamed of the bigtime and so on his 16th birthday he moved to Blackpool.
In 1955 he made a now infamous high stakes bet with the Reverend Craide Vonder that he would 'never lose a card game' . For 20 years he kept true to his word.
On the 16th of October 1975, however everything changed. A young upstart named Ginchy Robinson Jnr challenged Sterling to a game of his own creation, 'Extereme snap'. The rules of the game are now lost to history, the only records kept show that it lasted for 3 days and that both players lost.
On the 19th of October 1975, true to his word, Monty Sterling handed back the small taxidermied squirrel to the Reverend Craide Vonders
"Christ alive!"
Those were the words with which Bobby Natural (1946-) opened each episode of the inaugural 1960 series of "Songs Of Praise". The teen preacher, born in Bristol, UK but educated in the Baptist southern US states, brought a new form of worship to British TV, one that had pious bobbysoxers hysterical with more than just the love of Jesus!
Natural, frequently accompanied by his puppet "Mefty", was a familiar face in living rooms nationwide. Were it not for a backlash by the Women's Institute (who termed SoP "overheated Christian nonsense") and the mischievous theft of Mefty by a young Michael Aspel, the Church of England might have fared better in the liberated late sixties. As it was, Bobby Natural faded into obscurity.
A resurgence in his fortunes in recent years (thanks to a BBC4 special) has seen him back on TV as the face of the Lavender Marketing Board.
Reggie Bricksmith (1934 - 2004) was (as his name might suggest) a purveyor of fine bricks to Her Majesty the Queen of England. Despite his elevated social status and wealth that resulted from his royal commissions, Reggie grew tired of the constant tea parties, curtseying and giggling into a hankie that a position in the royal court demands. In an effort to distance himself from the palace, he clapped the head of one of the Queen's Corgi's between two of his daintiest bricks that he had hidden in his handbag. The enraged creature then bit his leg. Reggie then kicked the dog at a Beefeater. Needless to say, the situation escalated rapidly and resulted in Reggie's demise.
Ferrit Ferris (1920-1969) was a gentleman of leisure. He was raised in Bristol but left to become a public speaker in London, one of the biggest capital cities in England.
His fame soon increased after impressing the aristocracy with a dance he named 'the manifestation'. Recent studies of 'the manifestation' have described it as violently obscene.
In 1967 he was named 'man of the year' for strangling Craig Staindre (the worlds worst human) He claimed the murder was for 'fantastic and personal reasons'.
In 1969 he died via battles.
Ken Winston has already been through the boxes at the comic fair, and has just left with his hoard.
John A
