Phileas 'Bonus' Thomkins
Unknown
Phileas 'Bonus' Thomkins (1802-1897) was an army lieutenant for the Royal Army of Britain. He acquired the handle 'Bonus' when, in 1834 he yelled it immediately after killing 34 enemy troops and 6 civilians.
Pierre Goffer
Pierre Goffer (1953 - 1999) was the tallest boy in his class at school. His elevated posture gave him an air of superiority that he retained into adulthood. It was while working as a blacksmith in a working farm museum that Pierre became fascinated by energy drinks. He would stay in his forge long after hours, gorging on sweet caffeinated drinks while attempting to make himself a suit of what he referred to as 'Party Armour'. This ill-fated venture was ultimately the cause of his death on new year's eve, 1999.
Sir Gregory Cylinder
Sir Gregory Cylinder (1798-1889) was an inventor and collector of trinkets. In the late 1860's he made a name for himself buying and selling small pots of grass with a small cog attached. When the cog was turned, the grass moved back and forth. Sir Cylinder named this movement 'aggressive pro-nouncement' stating that 'the process of aggressive pro-nouncement exposes the users greater qualities, thrusting them into wealth and happiness'. It was later found that every time the cog was turned a badger died.
Paul Roster
Paul Roster (1985 - Present) lived near a duck pond in the early 1990s. It was his habit on a Sunday to visit this duck pond and throw bread to the ducks. He once kicked a crow that ate some bread intended for a duck so hard that its beak fell off. He still keeps this beak in his pocket, and kisses it for good luck.
Radford Fruehauf
Radford Fruehauf (1901-1961) was born in a small museum dedicated to the further understanding of the Hindu deity Vishvakarman. At the tender age of 34 Radford burnt down a well respected Fruit and Veg stand claiming 'the fruit was getting to cold'
Lawrence Paramount
Lawrence Paramount (1934 - 1984) was a key player on the international cruise ship circuit. Despite his buttoned-down appearance, Lawrence would often snare and dismember sea-birds on the deck of an upper-class cruise liner for the delighted glee of other the passengers. He died in 1984 following a run-in with a large gang of bikers named 'The Apoplectic Albatrosses'.
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