Harriet Spite

Harriet Spite (1967-Present) worked as an assistant at a pharmacy in her early twenties. Dazzled by her good looks and naive and trusting nature, people would take whatever advice she gave. Harriet Spite was not however trained as a pharmacist, and her advice was often fatal.

Blocky Jefferson

Blocky Jefferson (1928 - 1954) was a nightclub singer from 1946 until his death in 1954. He grew eccentric in his later years, body-building during the day and singing at night. He only ever worked on developing his leg muscles, which became extremely well-toned, but always hid them whilst performing. He once threw bird seed into a pram in Trafalgar square to see what would happen.

Max Gullivan

Max Gullivan (1809 -1945) Was a part time fireman, however he dreamed one day of becoming a sorcerer. He collected samples of liquids throughout the later years of his life. One day in the spring of either 1932 or 1936 he stole medicine from a woman who needed it to feel better. Later that year, she fell ill and was lucky to recover with both thumbs intact.

John Verr

John Verr (1953 - present) is a thoroughly selfish man. He has on more than one occasion stolen and eaten unattended sandwiches whilst on a train journey. He claims to work for a charity assisting people relocate their unwanted Christmas pets, but actually pockets the money and releases the animals into an alleyway in central Southampton.

Eric Goodname

Eric Goodname (1962 - 2008) became well known as an ambassador for over four charities, however he used this notoriety as a way of gaining the trust of wealthy children. Goodname then convinced these children to purchase his own brand of 'luxury toys'.

After a full investigation by the French government it was found that the 'toys' were in fact the elderly neighbours of Tentpole wrapped in tin foil.

Thursday Motown

Thursday Motown (1945 -2002) was an influential figure in the baffling world of public equestrian dance tuition. In 1978 in Barcelona, he claimed before a gathered crowd that he could encourage any horse to dance the tango with any animal suggested by the audience. His career and the lives of both the horse and the unfortunate marmoset ended that day.

Adam Hatley

Adam Hatley (1906-Unknown) was a newspaper editor from Kent, UK. In his early life he was known locally for his magnificent hair. People would travel from all corners of Kent to view the 'hair that if you look closely you can see sail-boats in'.

In his Mid 40's he started to lose his hair (from front to back). Becoming so concerned over this recession he looked into ways to deflect attention from his forehead. In Late October 1948 he underwent a now almost illegal teeth sharpening operation. Seven years later he kicked a homeless man.

Edward Hillington-Blossomhill

Edward Hillington-Blossomhill (1878 - 1956) was a member of the British aristocracy that left his life of lavish plenty behind and pursued a misguided career in gin-soaked empire building across the world.

Gabriel Finchley

Gabriel Finchley (1985 - present) is a web developer and amateur archaeologist working in the Sussex area. In November 1995 while digging in snow, Gabriel uncovered a frozen-up homeless man. Rather than alerting the authorities, Gabriel re-covered the man and wrote about the experience on his blog.

Philip 'Yancy' Philips

Philip 'Yancy' Philips (1930 - present) day thought he was a pretty 'cool dude'. But when in 1956 he though it would be 'cool' to steal from an old peoples home he got more than he bargained for (his arrest). Due to a clerical error he awaits his sentencing in a minimum security prison in Brighton

Gustav Timms

Gustav Timms (DOB unknown) underwent extensive surgery to alter his appearance after becoming obsessed with the cult tv show 'Red Dwarf'. He spends his time scratching, spitting and prowling, and had been known to eat raw animals. Do not approach or try to stroke Gustav Timms. Under no circumstances feed him as there is a very real danger that he will want to move into your home and sit on your lap and lick himself.

Teresa Jottle

Teresa Jottle (1976 - present) was the lead guitarist from 1989 until 1997 in the popular band 'The Dandy Candles'. Their songs were considered to be the catalyst for the housing-market crash of the early '90s with tracks like 'Negative Equity' and 'Burn it for Insurance'. She now works in an abattoir and is writing and performing a new setlist under the pseudonym 'Cakey Barkers'.

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