Gossamer Tom
John A
In the field of the fried breakfast, "Gossamer" Tom Dexter (1930-1991) was a legend. Obsessed with eggs and in love with the possibilities of bacon, he fed generations of Sheffield locals. His distinctive circular van was a mainstay outside Sheffield Wednesday's ground on matchdays, with many fans clutching a "Gossamer Barm" on the football special home.
Sadly Dexter, like so many other independent traders, was a victim of globalisation. In 1990, McDonalds introduced the "Egg McMuffin Sandwich" to their South Yorkshire franchises. Within six months "Gossamer" Tom Dexter was found dead of acute self-inflicted sulphur poisoning. His suicide note consisted of one word: "why?"
Dexter's passing coincided with the sudden end of a brutal string of unsolved murders in the Nether Edge area of the city.
I love that drawing. I sort of want it on my wall. Big. As a poster!
Mister Paxman I have spoken to the boys in the lab, they say A4 is the limit at which man can print on a piece of paper. I can send you one of those but you will have to get your face up really close for the "poster effect".
Unacceptable. Though I understand the data the lab boys have collated. I recently went on what can only be described as a full blown metaphysical odyssey in order to find an A3 scanner for a commission. Damn you, science!
I have an A3 scanner but I do not dare plug it in for fear of the energy crisis that would ensue. Thanks a lot Al Gore!
I saw one literally explode and fill a room with smoke once. The Victorians were right when they said humans shouldn't exceed 15 miles per hour!